Bunting Banner

There are times in your life when something radical has to happen. You have little or no power to change your situation, so you clamor to control whatever you can.

That's the situation I find myself in this week. I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not talking about our ongoing adoption journey, our marriage, or the the seemingly endless potty-training adventure we're on with our beloved three-year-old son.

And I hate to perseverate about the weather, but folks, it's not good here in Chicagoland. Today marks the twenty-eighth day of March...and I saw white stuff falling this morning. Sure it only lasted about ten minutes, but still. We started this month like a lion, and it looks like it may end the same way.

In effort to brighten the wintry mood in our home, I decided to make this:

Shabby Creek Cottage generously offered the bunting letters as a free printable. So I downloaded them, printed them, and cut them out. I used my portable paper cutter for the edges and old-fashioned scissors for the inverted-V bottoms.

Then I raided Jack's art supply shelf and found brightly-colored construction paper. I made backings for letters, glue-sticked them together, and then wondered how to hang all these letters.

I took to Google to find a solution. And Pinterest. In the end, I decided to use clothespins so I can reuse the letters for other occasions. I dug around in my sewing box, found a pretty lace trim that was just the right length, and  strung them all together on the kitchen floor. I fastened both ends to the door frame with teeny tiny nails that you can barely see, and voila! A springtime bunting banner.

If you want to make a fun banner for springtime...or a birthday, anniversary, or any other celebration, you can download these fun printables here.

If you make something, please send me a picture so we can all enjoy it!

 Thinking about Spring...
-Luann

It Won't Be Long Now...

Last week I wrote about looking for signs of spring, and I'm happy to report I found them. Last Friday the temperature got up to nearly 60 degrees, and it felt hot as a summer day in July. (Strange how when I lived in Florida, 60 seemed so cold.)

Jack and I were traipsing around the backyard (picking up dog poop, if you really want to know), when I came across these gems. They grow right in the middle of the (mostly dead) grass, and I have no idea what they are. But I'll take them. Aren't they pretty? I'm sure it's a sign...it won't be long now until spring is really here.

  



We also found these bright green stalks coming up through the dead leaves. They looked so pretty with the sun shining on them.




Lucy had a nice romp around the yard, and before long, she and Jack were sitting on the stairs together.

OK, that's not entirely true. Jack was sitting on the step, because I told him to sit for a picture, and then we corralled Lucy and held her down. Jack and Lucy have a "strained" relationship. Jack loves Lucy...but I think Lucy still holds a grudge about the time Jack pulled her down the stairs by her tail.

And the time he tried to stuff her in a paper sack.



We also had a visit from our little red-headed friend last week. Gracie is the daughter of one of my friends from middle school. I am so jealous of her ginger ringlets and clear blue eyes.



The three of us went to Hobby Lobby, and the kids got to pick out a little something to buy. There was a sale, and I had coupons. First Gracie wanted some big metal keys. So Jack wanted big metal keys. Then Gracie changed her mind. She wanted a craft. Jack still wanted to the big metal keys, but he also needed a craft. I finally got him (forced him) to give up the big metal keys, because what on earth was he going to do with big metal keys that are a purely decorative item? There were many tears, but then Grace found a blue Easter bunny she wanted instead of the craft. And then Jack forgot about the big metal keys and also wanted a blue bunny.  [sigh]

Unfortunately, we only saw one blue bunny. Jack didn't want a yellow bunny. He didn't want a pink bunny. Or a green one. Reluctantly, and graciously, Gracie offered to let him have the blue bunny. She would get a different color. But I think we all know what would've happened if she had done that. Suddenly, Jack would've wanted the alternate color. Thankfully, we dug through the bin of bunnies, and Gracie found another blue! So Jack was blissful instead of blue. That afternoon, they both snuggled on the couch with their respective bunnies. Seriously, the softest stuffed animals ever, and pretty cute, too.

 

See the little peacock pillow behind the dog? I made that. I love the fabric. (I designed my whole living room around a picture of a peacock, but I'll save that story for another day.)  Sadly,the pillow, and it's matching counterpart, are very lumpy. I didn't want to over-stuff them, but I couldn't get the filling to behave. Any pillow makers out there know where I went wrong? I am open to opening them and refilling. I think it might be the quality/consistency of the stuffing? It was a polyester something or another.

...

To celebrate the warm weather last week, we decided to barbecue burgers and buy a swing set. I got out the grill, the charcoal, and had the meat ready to make into patties. Just before Ken got home from work, I went out to start the grill. Alas, we were out of lighter fluid! So sad. Instead we went to Jack Straw's a take out hamburger joint in downtown Wheaton. It was our first time there. The burgers were greasy, big, and delish. The fries were salty, greasy, and fried to perfection.

I felt like I needed a digestive cleanse when we were done.

Ken says we are definitely going back.

We had more success with the swing set than the barbequing. I saw a used swing set on Craig's List, but it was on the small side...and used. I emailed the lady, found out she lived nearby and the set was only a year old. But the price wasn't low enough for me to justify getting a used, small, swing set. So we ordered a fairly big metal set from Menards. It was on clearance, but the website said our local store had them in stock.

The next day, the Craig's List lady emailed me to say she decided to cut her price in half(!) I was kinda sad we had ordered the set from Menards. But then, I got an email from Menards. They were out of stock on the set, and they were CANCELLING my order! They said I could get one from another Menards, but they couldn't transfer from one store to another.

It seemed like divine intervention. To make a long story short, we went with the smaller, used set. It's a perfect size for Jack and some of his little pals, and in a couple years when it's all rusted out he'll be ready for something bigger. Plus we saved more than a hundred bucks by going used.

Ken went to the people's house, disassembled the set, loaded it in our minivan (love how much stuff fits in that thing), brought it home, reassembled it, and wa-lah... Jack's dream come true!



 

Seriously, could that slide be any smaller? I have a feeling it will turn into a launching pad for stunts, or something of the like.

Now if we could get some more warm weather (it was 20 last night and more snow tonight), little Jack-Jack could actually play on it.
...

Every night after dinner, Ken and Jack have playtime. They usually play Hide-n-Seek, Quick Hide--the Giants are Coming, or some sort of shadow game with a flashlight. Tonight they did a craft, with only a teeny tiny bit of supervision from mom. (i.e. "Here's the glue, the paper, the cotton, the stickers, put them here, no not there, etc.")

While they made Noah's Ark and pasted in the animals, Ken told Jack the story. It was pretty neat that when we bought this kit last week, we had no idea Jack would be learning about Noah in Cubbies the very next day. So he got a double dose of Noah, which I think made it more interesting for him.

 

I absolutely love watching my boys play and work together. Ken didn't have much experience with kids when we got married, but he is so patient and kind with Jackson. A few days ago I asked Jack, "What is the name of one of your friends?" He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Uhhh, Daddy!" But of course. I asked him the same thing later in the day, and once again he confirmed that daddy is his bff.
 

 

I was washing the dishes and cleaning up from dinner while they worked on their project, and my favorite moment was when Jack dropped the glue stick and shrieked, "CATASTROPHE!" Seriously, where does my kid get this stuff? Six months ago he could hardly talk!

Here is the almost-finished project. I was sternly told not to look yet, because "it isn't done, Mom!" But I snuck a few pictures anyway.


 

 ...

Before I sign off, a bit of a housekeeping item: A few Facebook friends have left comments and/or sent messages to me and Ken expressing concern about the breaking of my FB fast. They wondered if I had gone back on my word--because they saw a link to my blog on their FB newsfeed.

Oh dear friends. I thank you for your concern about the state of my soul, but as I mentioned in the aforementioned blog, this blog can post automatically to FB with a simple click of a button. I get comments emailed to me.

The good news is that if I should I find myself falling into dire sin of the "break my fast" sort or any other unthinkable evil acts, I will now know who to call upon to set my crooked path straight.

 Looking forward to spring~

-Luann

Food

If you're like me, you don't think about food all that much. OK, that's not true. I think about how I eat too much of it, how good it tastes, and where I should get it from on Sunday after church.

One thing we've been learning about kids from hard places ("hard places" = a term used in adoption circles to describe children who have experienced some type of abuse, neglect or trauma during their lives) is that many have food issues. They think about food a lot.

Imagine a time when you were hungry. Really hungry. Now think about feeling that way for days, maybe weeks, or years on end. Some of us have fasted from food for medical or religious reasons at different points in our lives, but even that is not a good comparison. When you are hungry, you know there is an end in sight. You know at the end of the fast you can go in your kitchen pantry and find a box of cereal, a can of soup, or a bag of chips. You can open the refrigerator and find a gallon of milk, leftovers from last night's takeout, or even a package of hotdogs. You know where the closest grocery store is, and if you're really hungry and in a time crunch, there's a dollar menu at most fast food drive thrus.

Kids living in poverty don't have the luxury of knowing their hunger will end, and this becomes a traumatic issue. Feeling like you are going to starve to death--literally--is something that we in America just can't imagine.

I read a blog by another adoptive mom; one of her Ethiopian kids has been home for nearly seven years. She recently described a time when her daughter was going to be traveling for several hours without access to food, and the girl had forgotten to bring the snack her mom had prepared for her. The mom observed her daughter getting visibly tense, irritable, and fidgety. She had just eaten, but the fear of going several hours with no food brought back terrible memories.

Other adopted kids have been known to hoard food in secret hiding places in their bedrooms or get up in the middle of the night and scrounge around the kitchen for something to eat. Their fear? That tomorrow the food may run out.  So they take control of the situation by preparing for the worst, because that's how they've learned to survive.  (That's something I will blog about in future days: how some adopted kids try to control and manipulate their circumstances b/c it's their survival instinct.)

I learned in one of our adoption classes that when you first bring home an adopted child who struggles with food issues, you should always, always have food available. Experts suggest leaving a bowl of fruit or snack bars on the kitchen counter. If the child is really anxious, you can even allow her to have a small container of food in her bedroom in case she wakes up in the night feeling hungry or anxious.

It is important for the child to know you will provide for their needs. This is not their job any longer. It is the parent's role. For the same reason, disciplining a child from a hard place should never include sending him or her to bed without dinner, or making food a reward for good behavior. Having enough to eat is a basic need. God gives us food to sustain our bodies, to keep us healthy and strong, to grow our minds...not because we've been good enough.

Our instructor also told us it is quite normal for some newly-adopted kids to gorge themselves on food until they are sick. Again, they are so afraid of the food running out that they consume as much as they can. I asked the instructor if a child should be cut off at a certain point. After all, who wants a puking kid? Surprisingly, the instructor said no, at least not for the first several weeks of them being home. Getting sick from too much food is better in the long run than feeling insecure and fearful.

Another thing we learned is the importance of good nutrition...but also the importance of simply eating. Ethopian food is very different from American. They have bread with almost every meal but it's not like our bread. Injera tastes a bit like sour dough bread but it has a spongy texture, almost like a half-cooked pancake. Injera is served on the bottom of the plate, and then various meaty stews are placed on top. The food is very spicy.



All that to say, it's hard to change your palate. Imagine moving to a new country and being forced to eat what they deem healthy--but it's something you can't stand the taste of. It takes a while for certain foods to grow on you and to become acceptable to your taste buds. So again, the "experts" say the most important thing is to make sure your adopted kid is eating--whatever it is. They need a high calorie diet--and fast.

[As an aside, a well-meaning man said something almost laughable--if not so tragic--when I told him we were adopting from Ethiopia. He got a funny look on his face and said with a chuckle, "Oh is your daughter going to be real skinny? I mean, the pictures I see on TV of those kids...they always look like they're starving!"

Ha. Ha. Ha. Not funny, sir. Not really funny.  Because yes, our child probably will be skinny. She is coming from a poverty-stricken environment where people DIE from lack of food. Yes, starving. Not the 'I forgot to pack my lunch' starving that you probably complain about to your coworkers. STARVING. As in not enough nutrients and calories to make the body work correctly. Fatigue. Mental cloudiness. Physical weakness. Trauma.

I didn't actually say all that but I wanted to. I think the look on my face answered his question. He quickly backtracked and tried to smooth over his comment. I know he wasn't being mean spirited, but still.]

So yes, in the beginning our daughter will get food--whatever she likes--whenever she wants it. As time goes on, that will taper off. I don't know how long that season will last, but we will be working closely with a nutritionist as well as other international adoption experts at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago.

Next time your stomach starts to growl, or you have to take an antacid because you overate, or you complain about your weight, stop. Say a prayer for a kid who is truly starving. Pray for a kid you don't know who struggles with food issues. Pray that he or she will learn to trust a parent they don't know to give them the food they need.

With Hope~
Luann

Irish for a Day

Before Jackson was born, our friends Susan and Bryon gave us a stuffed dog named Scout. Little did we know it would become a beloved toy. It's the official car mascot--always along for the ride. It's also become a bit of a tradition to take a picture on St. Patty's Day with Jack and Scout. It's fun to see how much he's grown.

I'd love to write about all the changes we've seen in the past year in Jack-Jack, but I must make this short. We are having friends over for dinner and there's corned beef brisket, colcannon, horseradish sauce, broccoli and mojito cake to prepare. Not to mention the cleaning. Our little leprechaun is down for a nap, so I have a few hours in which I hope to get a lot done.

Here's a little recap of our last four St. Patrick's Days. Enjoy!


2011--one month old
Jack was so small I had to prop him up--and he kept tipping over! Scout's head is bigger than his, but notice the reddish tint to his hair? That didn't last long. :(


2012--1 year, 1 month
He was such a squirmy worm that the picture ended up blurry. I think this was the best shot out of about 30 attempts. Look at how long and blonde his hair is...evidence we were living in the Sunshine State.

2013--2 years, 1month
Still not talking, but oh what a busy noise maker! He pretty much wanted to do anything but pose for a picture, but I finally got this one. Scout almost didn't make it in the shot.

2014--3 years, 1 month
Jack finally comprehends what it means to sit still and smile. His reward? Getting to see a picture of himself! His hair is darkening--maybe because he's getting older or maybe because we're enduring the longest.winter.ever.

I'm not sure if my photo-taking skills are improving, my subject is getting more handsome, or if it's my new camera, but OH.MY.GOODNESS. Look at this beautiful boy! I can't even stand it.

Wishing you a lucky day filled with leprechauns, rainbows, pots of gold, and the color green (esp. the paper kind with presidential pictures.)

-Luann

Down Deep

Today the temperature reached 50 degrees, and after a long, snowy, cold winter, it felt great to be outdoors. When I took Lucy out to do her business, I walked around the backyard a little bit. The snow has melted around the trees, and I was on the hunt...the hunt for signs of spring.

The former owners of our home were avid gardeners, and last spring we were happily surprised with all kinds of perennials that popped up around the yard. I know it's a bit early, and we've only had a few warm-ish days, but I was hopeful.

I peered down at the muddy mound around the tall tree. [I really should find out what kind of tree that is. It's very tall and the branches don't start until way up high. No nuts or blossoms...any ideas?] Brown leaves, twigs, and the remnants of dirty snow littered the ground.

I squinted my eyes and bent down closer to the earth. Nothing. Not a single shoot of green anywhere.

As I walked back into the house, I wasn't entirely disappointed. I know the daffodils and crocuses and tulips are down deep in the soil, waiting until just the right time to emerge.

It reminded me of the stack of books sitting by my bedside. The titles include Attaching in Adoption, Love in the Driest Season, and Parenting the Hurt Child.

Ken and I have been learning a lot about parenting an adopted child--basically we are told to take everything we know about parenting and do the opposite. OK, maybe it's not quite that extreme, but many of the practical parenting techniques your mom and dad used and you are using or will use--they don't work with kids who have experienced trauma.

I'm not just talking about trauma as we know it--abuse, neglect, that sort of thing. I'm talking about the trauma of your parents dying. Of not having enough food to eat. Of being sent to an orphanage and and having a different caretaker every day of the week. Of having to be extra charming to get the love and attention you desperately need. Of being adopted by white-skinned parents when all you've ever known are brown-skinned folks. Of moving to a new country where the people speak a different language, eat different food, and you don't know a single person. Of being expected to be grateful for being given a new family, when all you really want is your birth family...a mom that looks like you, siblings that understand your history.

It's not unusual for these children to act like a wounded animal, lashing out at anyone who comes too close. It's common for these kids to initially reject their new mother. After all, their first mother is gone...if they get too close will this new one leave also?

So how does this relate to me peering down at the ground, looking for signs of life? A flower bulb is basically an underground storehouse / flower factory. Within the bulb is nearly everything the plant will need to sprout and bloom at the appropriate time. But it does take time.

Kids from hard places may act like they don't want to be a part of a family. They may have so much emotional scar tissue surrounding their hearts that people wonder if they'll ever break through the walls. But deep down, there is a unique human being, created in the image of God, capable of loving and being loved. Capable of being a contributing part of a family unit. Sometimes it just takes some time to see signs of life pop up through the mire.


But this is the process of redemption. And when we take part in loving a hurt child, when we enter into their world in order to bring healing, we take part in something that is the very heartbeat of God. Redemption. That's why Jesus is called the Redeemer.

As we read through all these books, I hope to share more as we learn more. It's a lot of information to process, and it helps to summarize what we're learning. Hopefully it will also help you understand the possible struggles we as a family will face so you can better support and pray for us.

 Tomorrow, in addition to searching for green stuff on the ground, I will continue to paint some bedroom furniture for our girl's room. I started painting a daybed last weekend, and the spindles on the back of the bed were very nearly the end of me. But now I have a plan of attack, and a new paintbrush, so I am praying it goes better tomorrow and I don't get many more gray hairs. [By the way, why didn't anyone ever tell me that gray hairs would be wiry little sons-of-guns that stick straight up out of my part?]

The grandmother clock just chimed to tell me it's 11:30. Time for bed, friends. What's on your agenda for the weekend?

Luann

March 13, 2014

I have wanted to blog the past few weeks, but too often I've felt as though I shouldn't blog unless I have something profound, interesting, or insightful to share. And life just keeps rolling along--sometimes at break-neck speeds--and profound moments and thoughts are rare. 

And then I remind myself that the blogs I enjoy most are not really all that profound. They are stories of the writer's life. They are pictures of everyday happenings. And I have a lot of those. 

There is also a certain pressure when you write and edit for a living to string together words in beautiful sequences. To make words dance on the page. 

I read blogs written by people I don't know--people whose names will never find their names on a book cover--and I'm amazed at their ability to express themselves. They use the same 1,025,109.8 words in the English language as I do, but their combination of words and phrases seem so much more enchanting than my own.

[In case you're wondering, I just googled "How many words are in the English language?" I'm such a dork. According to the Global Language Monitor, that one-million-something number is the count as of January 1 of this year. But it's really hard to keep count because a new word is created every 98 minutes. Also, do you count plurals as a new word? What if the word has multiple meanings? etc.]

Anyway, I probably need to let go of the expectations I place on myself and just write. Create a log of life for our family--which was the original motivation behind this blog.

So here's what we've been up to...

I posted a picture recently of some little friends that spent a few days at our house. Here are some more. They spent many hours building extensive train track systems that traveled throughout our home.

It was the weekend of March 1st, so we created lions and lambs to go with the saying that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. We've had about another 10 inches of snow since March began, so I'm hoping and praying that saying proves true.

This was an easy project and fairly fun for the little ones. (The oldest got a little bored.) We used paper plates, strips of construction paper, cotton balls, crayons, and lots of glue.

This is what it was *supposed* to look like. (Found the pic on Pinterest of course.) I thought they did pretty good considering we had a limited supply of cotton balls and artistic direction (ie me).

We also had a brief discussion about how the Bible says someday the lions and lambs will lie down together, without the lion devouring the lamb. But I had to keep it brief because a biblical scholar I am not.

To encourage good behavior, we had a little sticker competition. I let the kids come up with the rules, but I summarized some of them. We didn't have room for No Punching, No Pinching, and No Kicking, so we grouped those under "No Mean Touches."

They were a silly group. I wish this picture wasn't blurry, because it summed up the weekend so well.

Horsey rides were also on the agenda. At times with multiple riders and/or equestrian combinations.

 

I love the pic below. It was Saturday morning and they were all vegging out, watching TV. Little Ransom was sound asleep on a crib mattress in the middle of the floor. The area rug is covered in a giant quilt because the night before they were snacking on the floor, and Cheetos are ... well, cheesy. And orange. On little fingers, of which there were 40. That's a recipe for orange carpeting, which wouldn't match well with my blue and ivory-themed living room.

We've also spent a lot of time with our friends Alex and Claire. Their mom (Heather) and I do a babysitting swap twice a week. She usually takes the kids on Monday mornings while I work or run errands, and I take them on Friday mornings. We hang out at Heather's house because her twins are a bit younger (almost 2), so her house is still baby safe and ours is slowly getting to a non-safe-baby-state as Jack gets older.

Alex, with his bright blue eyes, is quite the ham. He and Jack love wrestling and chasing each other.

I made a fort under their little Dora table, but they were still pretty captivated by whatever was on the TV.

Ken says Jack looks like Bono with the pink sunglasses. I'm not sure about that, but it still amused me.

Oops, how was I supposed to know they aren't supposed to climb on top of the table? They seemed quite agile and experienced with their acrobatics. (Sorry, Heather.)

Claire wears these adorable pink glitter slippers, and when she sat atop the table (again, my apologies Heather), the angle made her feet look enormous. :)

It was a snowy day outside, and I love the background scenery out their windows. (Not sure he's supposed to stand and jump off the chair either, but oh the fun they had!)

Jack enjoyed the "fort," mostly because he could take the toys he likes in there and not be bothered by the other kids trying to swipe them. "Swiper, no swiping!"

They play so sweetly together (most of the time), and I am forever in pursuit of a cute picture with all three of them. But this is how my pre-positioned shots always end up.

On Monday it reached 50 degrees, a welcome respite after a long, cold winter. I asked Heather if she wanted to take the kids to the park with me, and she readily agreed. Silly me...I forgot that the park would be covered in snow, so poor Jack was only wearing his tennis shoes. With about 8 inches of snow on the ground in shady areas, the poor boy had some very wet feet. We only ended up staying about 10 minutes at the park, but I had to take some pics of Claire. Her yellow hat and pinkish jacket, combined with the blue of her eyes and the blue of the sky, were perfect for photos. 

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so cute?

I also took pictures of the boys, but in their army green and navy blue jackets, their pictures did not turn our nearly as cute. So I won't bore you.

Sunday morning, as I was dressing Jackson for church, I was struck with how darn adorable he is. I am biased, I know, but for real. He is almost perfect. I enticed him to pose for pictures by telling him he could jump on our new couch. It worked!

Yes, he really is that skinny. Don't worry, he's perfectly healthy and in the normal weight range for his age. He's just tall...so the fat gets spread out vertically. [Sigh] I remember being that skinny. I used to be so embarrassed by my ribs sticking through. Silly me. What I wouldn't give to get a glimpse of those ribs today!

If you think I'm a little obsessed with this boy of mine, you would be correct.

I'm also a little obsessed with the beauty of snow. Like most Chicagoans, I wasn't exactly thrilled when the weather forecasts called for MORE snow. People. It's March for crying out loud! Isn't the time of year that crocuses and daffodils are supposed to be popping up?

But despite my despair over the white stuff, the good news is that it's beautiful and it won't last long now that spring is a mere 7 days away. And really, have you ever seen such magnificent artwork? I'm in awe of the Artist.

 

 

I'm still taking a break from Facebook, but this will post automatically so feel free to leave your comments and they will be emailed to me.

Speaking of which...I haven't been perfect about my fast from Facebook, but it's been going pretty well. I gave myself a special dispensation to check the news on a friend whose baby was dying and another who is having a surprise pregnancy. But all in all, it's been going pretty well. I miss you all and your news and funnies and photos, but it's been a sweet time away.

Love to you all~

Luann