Feeling all the feels tonight

Today we received both good news and not so good news.

The good news from our adoption agency is that the regional authority who previously refused to sign off on our kids' adoption has been replaced by a new authority who sympathizes with our situation and says she won't oppose any appeals we make.

So our team in Ethiopia presses forward, working with their experts on how best to word their latest appeal. We expect to get news in the next few weeks on that. The team says they are "heartened," but they don't want us to get our hopes up too high.

The bad news is that our 10 year old girl has been very ill. In their last update, I noticed that she looked really thin, and her skin and hair had tell-tale signs of poor nutrition.

At the end of December she and other children at her school were given anti-parasitic medicine. Several kids got sick after taking the medication, including M. She had such a bad reaction to it that she ended up in the hospital, in the severe acute malnutrition ward. The combination of poor nutrition and bad medicine were more than M's little body could handle. Her blood counts were terrible, and she required two blood transfusions and a 6-day stay in the hospital.

She's back in the orphanage now, but she will stay home from school for a few weeks until she gets stronger.

If you have ever had a loved one hospitalized, you can understand a bit of what we're feeling. We're so thankful M received the care she needed. At the same time, having your daughter hospitalized for something that could be prevented with proper nutrition and clean water is frustrating. Being 7,000 miles away is frustrating. Thinking about your daughter being hospitalized, without any family to advocate and/or care for her is heartbreaking. Plus, she was in the hospital during Ethiopian Christmas. Alone. On Christmas.

It makes me want to punch something. It is infuriating and annoying and frustrating and disheartening and confusing and I just want her home so she never spends another Christmas alone. I never want her in the hospital again without a parent to advocate for her, I don't want her living in a place where anti-parasitic meds are necessary and yet unregulated.

So while we are glad there was a sliver of hope today in the adoption case, it's horrific that these children, our children, are still in Ethiopia when they should've been here 12 months ago. It's terrible that some people seem to care more about their pride and their politics than about giving kids a safe place to live with a mom and dad to love and care for them.

I could go on and on, but I know you feel the same way. It's maddening.

I don't know how this story will end. Just when I've given up hope, we get a glimmer. Just when I've convinced myself that they'll never come home and perhaps it is for the best, something like this happens, and I know the reason we're infuriated is because we love these children so much.

Love>7,867 miles
Love>nationality
Love>skin color
Love>language
Love>everything

Again???

Remember last week when I wrote, "We have been reticent to share details about the adoption process lately, because it seems every time we share something, things change."

Yah, that.

So this morning we got a call from our agency at 7:30, the earliest they've ever called. Before I had a chance to say much, she told me that there was another delay.

All these delays were starting to sound suspicious to me, so I probed a little deeper.

Apparently the Federal Court is closed during Rainy Season in Ethio, but one judge stays on the bench to hear very urgent civil cases. But adoption cases are not considered urgent, so normally they are not heard during this season.

This judge, however, took pity on us and our case and agreed to review our appeal. But because it's an adoption case, it's still on the bottom of the priority list.

So today when our lawyer arrived at court, the place was packed, Wall to wall people. The judge started hearing cases and then noticed our lawyer sitting in the courtroom. He paused the case he was hearing and called our lawyer to the front. He said there was no way he'd be able to deal with our case today or tomorrow, and Monday is a holiday, so he would reschedule us for Tuesday the 29th.

Although it's frustrating, this Judge is our best bet. He's known for being pro-adoption, even int'l adoption, and he is very kind and friendly according to what we've heard.

We would have given up long ago if it weren't for three "brown sugars" (as our pastor's wife calls them). Little M, who is 7 and is spunky and talkative and has a smile as big as her face. Older sister M, who is 9 and is quiet and sweet and has eyes that light up the darkest room. And D, our 12 year old soon-to-be-teen, who is handsome, polite, and super smart.

So we hope. And pray.

And we try to learn any lessons that God is teaching us. (Patience? Trust? Surrender?)

And we carry on...because the world keeps spinning and there's still laundry to wash, books to be edited, preschool to attend, code to be written, and meals to be made.

And today we have a birthday party to attend. Our neighbor friend is turning five, and we rejoice with those who rejoice.  And what better way to rejoice than with a Pirate Party?

Thank you for your continued prayers, love, and support.

God's delays ≠ God's denials.