Unwrapping the Gift

It's been a really strange couple of weeks, and I've hesitated to blog about it for two reasons. First, it's hard to put in words something you haven't fully processed. And second, there's the matter of privacy. How much is appropriate to share in a public forum? What is helpful, interesting, and/or informative so that readers can pray for our growing family?

As I told you in a previous blog, the boy we are adopting went to court to say whether or not he wanted to be adopted. The initial report was simply that he did very well and everything turned out as expected.

We didn't get any more details for several days because the email of our team in Ethiopia wasn't working. When we finally got pictures of the children unwrapping our gift books--and the full report on what happened--I couldn't quite process everything.










...

I remember the first time I left our son Jack with someone other than a family member. He was just a few months old, and the church we attended at the time offered a Mom's Day Out. For just a few dollars, you could leave your child in the capable hands of a nursery worker for several hours on a weekday.

Being a stay-at-home writer and editor, I thought this was a great idea. But as soon as I dropped off Jack, my heart sank. I missed him so much I could hardly stand it. All the cliques applied: I felt like I was missing my right arm. I felt like I'd left my heart in that nursery and was walking around without it.

I was miserable.

When they called me 45 minutes later to tell me Jack had been crying and they couldn't calm him down, I was secretly happy. I raced back to the church as fast as I could to get my child back in my arms.

That's a mother for you. At least with her firstborn, and at least for the first few months. Now Jack goes off to preschool twice a week, and neither of us sheds a tear. But I still miss him when we're apart for an extended period of time. I wonder what he's doing. I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he's sharing all the family secrets. I wonder if he made it to the potty in time.

He is always on my mind.

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Our three soon-to-be-adopted children in Ethiopia are always on my mind as well.  

Will they like it here? Are the decorations in this bedroom too baby-ish for an 11 year old? Is this coat going to fit her? Will it be warm enough? I wish I could find a coat in yellow since that is her favorite color, but all I can find is pink and purple! How will they do in school? Should I homeschool them? Will they be kind to Jackson? Will Jackson be normal jealous or crazy jealous? Will they be the only chocolate-skinned kids at their school? Will other kids like them? Will they be teased because of their foreign names and thick accents?

And after the report and photos we got two weeks ago, my thoughts have started including ones like these:

Is that a smile on her face as she looks at the photo book we sent? Do they feel scared at the size of their new school building? What does it feel like to go to court and say your circumstances are so bleak that you are willing to be adopted by an unknown family who live in a foreign country where you will know no one, save your two siblings? 

What does it feel like to tell your social worker, "I know what adoption is, but I never thought it would happen for us because we've waited all these years in the orphanage." And how did he feel when he asked, "How soon will my new parents come and get us?"

My mind is constantly processing these ideas. Now that our children know about us, I want them right now. I don't want them to wait one second longer, and yet...there is nothing I can do to speed the process along.

The Ministry of Women and Children in Ethiopia has suddenly changed the rules--they want originals on all the important paperwork. Previously they accepted copies. That means our team in Ethiopia has to scramble to get originals of who-knows-how-many documents.

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When I was pregnant, everyone told me to enjoy the pregnancy--that the baby would be here soon enough and then I'd be enduring many sleepless nights. But still, I couldn't wait to meet my son.

Nobody is telling us to enjoy the adoption process because we all know that three children are going to bed tonight without a mother and father to tuck them in, to kiss them goodnight, to pray with them.

And that breaks my heart. I am going about my usual business--writing, editing, meeting with friends, going to church, babysitting, attending parties--like everything is normal. But nothing is normal. We have three children who are waiting for us, and I hate being away from them.

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My husband tells me that for every comment I get on my blog, there's at least 10 other readers who don't comment.

He heard that statistic years ago, and I'm pretty sure it was before the advent of Facebook links and the ability to simply hit "Like."

That's why I'm doing a giveaway this week...to see who my readers actually are. Anyone who leaves a comment on this blog will be entered into a drawing to receive a free book. The winner can choose any of the following books and it will be mailed directly to them. The winner may choose from threse books:

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
Called a simple, enchanting tale...warm and funny and thoroughly unpredictable.
Publishers Weekly calls this "one of the best Christmas books ever."

Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
A beautifully illustrated book to celebrate the Advent season together as a family.













The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
A Moonbeam Award Gold Medal Winner and one of my favorite books!














The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp

A New York Times Bestseller, this book is an Advent calender and a devotional all in one.















Any of these books will make your Christmas more meaningful...or the winner could use the prize as a stocking stuffer.

Leave your comment in the section below to be entered to win! We'll announce a winner this weekend.