His Love

What do you do when you’re in trouble? I’m not talking about when you get caught passing notes in Science class. I’m talking about grown-up trouble: Cancer. Home foreclosure. Divorce. Betrayal. Rebellious children. Death.

When I feel anxious, I like to go for a bike ride. It helps clear my head and get things in perspective. Some folks call a friend or join a support group. Some sleep away their troubles. Others escape through alcohol.

When Jesus faced the biggest trial of His life, He sang. You see, the night before He was crucified, Jesus and the apostles celebrated Passover. In Mark 14:26, we read that after the Passover meal, Jesus and the apostles sang a hymn as they went out to the Mount of Olives. So what was Jesus singing on the way to His crucifixion? According to tradition, Passover ends with the singing of Psalm 136, so it is very likely that is what Jesus sang.

Whatever you’re facing today, let the words below sink deep into your heart. They are the lyrics Jesus sang on His way to Calvary.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.

His faithful love endures forever….

With a might hand and an outstretched hand

His faithful love endures forever….

To him who led his people through the wilderness;

His faithful love endures forever….

Give thanks to the God of heaven.

His faithful love endures forever.

The Imposter

 

Jack looked suspiciously at what I’d handed him, turned it over, and then threw it to the floor in disgust. He wanted no part of it. He knew it was a fraud.

The “thing” was a stuffed Winnie the Pooh. When Jack was a newborn, his aunt gave him an identical Winnie the Pooh. Before long, the stuffed animal, known in our house as “Pooh-Pooh,” became a nighttime requirement. When he was upset or hurt, he wanted his Pooh-Pooh. And his favorite part of the animal was a tag on the backside. He liked running his fingers over that tag with one hand, while sucking his thumb on the other.

My husband and I worried about what would happen if we ever lost Pooh-Pooh. Would Jack be able to sleep? Would he cry endlessly for his beloved animal? So, like any good parent, I searched online, where I found the identical stuffed animal. I paid much more than it was worth to have it shipped to my home.

One day, the original Pooh disappeared, and I was pleased as punch that I had a backup. I rushed to get Pooh-2 out of safekeeping. Unfortunately, Jack—even at the tender age of two—knew the difference. This was not his Pooh-Pooh. It was an imposter.

How did he know? Because he loved his Pooh so deeply. He had spent countless hours with him, and he knew every square inch of that stuffed animal.

Jack with his various Pooh Bears. He now likes them all, but only one is the real deal in his mind...the faded large one that has the red stitching on the back side.

This situation made me think about how often we try to fill the God-shaped hole in our life with imposters. When we know the peace and love and comfort of Almighty God in an intimate way, the “fakes” never satisfy. Oh, they might give us temporary pleasure, but in the end, they are not the real thing.

Do you know God like that? Spend time with Him, and you will never want to settle for anything less.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me.” John 10:14 (NLT)

Won't you be my neighbor?

A few years ago I was going to a leadership meeting at my church. As I walked from the parking lot to the building, I spotted a man about my age who was in the public eye at church. I'd admired him from afar because he was smart, talented, good-looking, and shares deep and profound truths. I didn't know him personally, but I was very impressed with what I'd observed.

As we approached the first set of double doors leading to the church, I was one step ahead of him. I held open the door for him, said good morning, and he said thank you.

As we approached the second set of double doors, he passed by me and was a few steps ahead of me. I've seen men do this before--usually because they want to be a gentleman and open the next door. He did open the door, and just as I was opening my mouth to say thank you, he let go, kept walking, and the door slammed in my face.

"Wow," I said to myself. "He must be really lost in thought to be so rude." But no, right then a friend of his called out his name, and he returned the greeting with a hearty hello.
---
A few days later, I went to the beach. It was a perfect beach night, and I had a lot of things on my mind. Something about the water and waves and sand always helps to clarify my thoughts.

Near where I parked my car, there was a man and his wife who were sitting on a bench. The man had only one leg, and his crutches were nearby. They were sharing a cold one ... and did not look much like the people who attend my church.

On my way down to the water, we exchanged a polite nod, and I quickly averted my eyes from the missing leg--and also from their faces. The second time I passed by, after returning to my car to get my beach chair, I again averted my eyes, but the lady said hello. When I left the beach about an hour later, they were still there, and they struck up a conversation with me. The man told me his name was Steve, and reached out to shake my hand. The lady's name was Telly, and she told me they had just moved to Ft. Lauderdale from Massachusetts. After talking for several minutes, I packed up my car and drove off, my heart strangely and unexpectedly warmed.

I wonder…who loved their neighbor as themselves? The man I worshiped with every Sunday and looked to for insights on God’s Word? The beer-drinking, rough-looking couple spending their Saturday night at the beach? Or me? 

I know it wasn’t me.

As-Is

I have a dog named Lucy. She is a 10-pound, champagne-colored, Maltese-Poodle mix. Her favorite activity is sitting as close as humanly (or doggy) possible to me. She has no sense of personal space, so if given the opportunity, she will choose to lie directly on top of me. Every day. All the time. Even when I’m upset with her and have scolded her.

I don’t know if Lucy believes in God, but if she does, I’m fairly certain she equates me with God—or at least His right-hand woman. I can do no wrong in her eyes. Whenever I leave, whether it’s for five minutes or five days, I am greeted with a welcome that rivals a ticker-tape parade. I can ignore her for hours and she never gives up on me; she keeps trying to wheedle her way onto my lap to show me love.

So I had to laugh when I saw this quote on a church sign near our home: “Be the person your dog thinks you are.”

There’s no way I could ever be the person Lucy thinks I am. It would be an impossible task. I’ve thought about that church sign a lot. I wish it had instead said something to the effect of, “God loves you even more than your dog loves you.”

You see, while our dogs may think we’re perfect, God knows how very imperfect we are. And while our dogs think we’re God’s gift to this earth, God sent His Son to be God’s gift to this earth. We don’t need to be the person our dogs think we are. God loves us as is. And that, my friend, is true love.

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 (NLT)

Deaf in One Ear; Can Hear Out of the Other

"Hello? Hello?" I was trying to answer the phone, but I couldn't hear the caller. Finally I concluded we had a bad connection and hung up.

The person rang me again, and for some reason, I put the phone to my other ear. I could hear him perfectly. I switched the phone back to the first ear—nothing. Something was wrong with the hearing in my right ear.

In the months that followed, I visited several doctors and tried various treatments. Nothing worked. A virus had attacked my right ear, making me completely deaf on that side. Noisy environments became a challenge; conversations were hard to comprehend, and I often felt left out.

During that time, a friend said, "I know what you're going through is tough, but you have a couple of options. You can be a half-deaf person who complains about your loss and feels bitter, but nobody is going to want to be around you. Or you can be a half-deaf person who responds with grace and dignity, and your friends will still enjoy being with you."

The choice was mine. I didn't have control over a lot of things, but my attitude did not fall into that category.

Are you going through something unpleasant and feel helpless to change the situation? The Apostle Paul tells us to stay positive, to think about things that are good. Why? Because everyone suffers when you're in a bad mood—most of all, you!

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change what you can—your attitude. How? By meditating on things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise.

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, 

and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that 

are excellent and worthy of praise."  - Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Rules For Life

Be alert.

Be self-controlled.

Encourage one another and build each other up.

Live in peace with each other.

Warn those who are idle.

Encourage the weak.

Be patient with everyone.

Always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

Be joyful always.

Pray continually.

Give thanks in all circumstances.

Hold on to the good.

Avoid every kind of evil.

Learn to control your own body.

Lead a quiet life.

Mind your own business.

Work with your hands.

Never tire of doing what is right.

Do not share in the sins of others.

Keep yourself pure.

Turn away from godless chatter.

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments.

Don’t quarrel.

Be kind to everyone.

Be hospitable.

Be self-controlled.

Be kind.

Be busy at home.

Slander no one.

Be peaceable and considerate.

Show true humility toward all men.

Avoid foolish controversies.

Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him

Fix your thoughts on Jesus.

Encourage one another daily.

Approach the throne of grace with confidence.

Throw off everything that hinders and the sin that entangles.

Fix your eyes on Jesus.

Endure hardship as discipline.

Make every effort to live at peace with all men.

Keep your lives free from the love of money.

Be content with what you have.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Come near to God, and he will come near to you.

Do not slander one another.

Rid yourselves of all envy.

Rid yourselves of all hypocrisy.

Rid yourselves of all malice.

Live in harmony with one another.

Be sympathetic.

Love as brothers.

Be compassionate and humble.

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing,

Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.

Be self-controlled and alert.

Cast all your anxiety on him.

Set your heart on things above.

Clothe yourselves with compassion.

Clothe yourselves with kindness.

Clothe yourselves with humility.

Clothe yourselves with gentleness.

Clothe yourselves with patience.

Bear with each other.

Forgive grievances.

Rid yourself of anger.

Rid yourself of slander.

Rid yourself of filthy language.

Devote yourself to prayer.

Let your conversation be full of grace.

The Race

A few years ago I participated in a 5K race. I am not a runner, but I like to pretend I’m one. Plus, competing in a race gives me excellent motivation to exercise beforehand.

Unfortunately, my plan didn’t work out. I failed to get in shape before the race, and I had trouble running the 3-mile course. Truth be known, I walked most of it. But as I neared the finish line, 48 minutes and 30-odd seconds after starting, crowds of runners who had already finished were gathered alongside the track and were cheering for me and the other stragglers.

“You're almost there!” one said. “Keep going! You're almost finished!” another shouted. Their high-fives and encouraging words gave me the strength to finish what I'd started.

Most of these folks didn’t know me; I was just a fellow runner in the race. I started to fight back tears. It reminded me of what heaven will be like, and of the crowd of witnesses who has gone on before me. I imagined them waiting for me, cheering me on to finish the race of life with endurance, and ultimately welcoming me with open arms.

The Bible tells us that because Jesus died on the Cross for our sins, our entrance fee to Heaven has been paid in full. However, how we get there will depend on how we run the race. Some believers will breeze into heaven, like a friend of mine who runs marathons without breaking a sweat. Others will be tired, but will be grateful for the training they endured. Others will pass the pearly gates limping, red-faced, and unable to speak because they'll be so winded. But however one gets to heaven, I'm confident it will be a time of celebration, a wonderful homecoming filled with sweet reunions. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses… let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)

The Name

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” wrote Shakespeare in his famous play, Romeo and Juliet.

But one name really is better than the rest. It’s the Name above all other names. It is so powerful, that in some countries, it is forbidden. Those who embrace the Name are tortured, jailed, and even killed.

This Name produces a variety of reactions. Blasphemers hate it. It is a thorn in their flesh. Sinners cling to it. They know it is their only hope. Followers love it. It is the sweetest sound they’ve ever heard.

At the mention of this name, demons flee in terror. The wind and the rain are silenced. The dead are raised. The crippled walk. The blind see. The deaf hear.

When this name is embraced, fears vanish. Anxieties are quieted. Worries are put to rest.  There is peace—indescribable peace between man and God. Why? Because He is Immanuel, God with us. His name means Savior, the One who will save us from our sins. He is Christ, the Anointed One. He is the One and only Son of the Most High God. He is Jehovah-Jireh, our Provider. He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He is the Word of God, in flesh. He’s the Prince of Peace.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10 (NLT)

A New Day

We mark time in different ways. An anniversary, a birthday, a holiday, the start of a new year. Today I'm remembering one year ago today.

It was on that day when I took three pregnancy tests. Two in quick succession, another one a few hours later. All had a double line. Pregnant. My hands shook and I wondered if it could be true. I cried tears of happiness, alone in my bathroom, and I waited anxiously for my husband of just four months to get home from work to share the news.

It had been a busy week. Just the day prior we had flown home from Chicago. A funeral. My mother's funeral. We saw her laid to rest, in the plot next to my father. He was buried there just four years earlier.

But despite being tired from travel and grief, I couldn't rest. I was having a baby! I went to Home Depot and bought a decorating magazine for kids' rooms. I clipped my favorite pictures and hung them on the wall in what was then the "Man Cave."

When Ken walked in the door from work, I told him I was starting a new project. He looked at me inquisitively. I said it was in the Man Cave and asked him to close his eyes as I led him in there. I guided him to the wall where the nursery pictures hung. He stood there for a moment, staring, digesting. Silent. And then he said, "Is this what I think it is?" I said yes, and we hugged and hugged and hugged.

That week marked the end of one journey and the start of a new one. Today, as I bounced Jack on the exercise ball (yes, that's how he likes to fall asleep), I stared out the sliders at the lake. I watched ducks skim the surface of the water, leaving white foamy water in their wake. Then they'd take off, circle round, and another would follow. I thought about how much my mama loved watching the birds on that very lake. She'd sit on her balcony, just across the lake from our place, and drink her coffee, knit, and watch those crazy birds.

I imagine there's a viewing room in heaven, reserved for parents. There's a glass window where they can gaze down and see what their children are doing and what's going on in the world. My mom's window is positioned just above Lake Emerald. There she can watch the ducks splash and swim, and she can see her youngest daughter bouncing her only grandson to sleep.

We're all OK, mama. We're all OK.

Liquid Courage

I've never seen the movie "The Exorcist," but I'm sure it's got nothing on the true accounts of exorcisms in the Bible.

In Acts Chapter 16, Luke tells us that after exorcising a demon from a fortuneteller/slave girl, Paul and Silas were thrown in jail. Why? Because this demon-possessed girl was a money machine for her master. Once the demon left her, she could no longer perform her "magic."

I don't think Paul and Silas set out to ruin a business. They just wanted this girl to be free to serve the one true God. So while they sat behind prison bars, I imagine they were tempted to be discouraged. What did these two friends do? They sang. And sang. And sang some more. 

Friends can be very powerful in our lives. At their best, they encourage us...literally pour courage into us. Paul and Silas gave each other a dose of liquid courage by proclaiming God's promises and protection through song. Their hymns probably recounted God's unchanging attributes, His love, and His compassionate care for His people. 

The Bible says the other prisoners were listening while they sang. I wish I could've seen their faces! Who sings in prison? Who sings when they're in trouble? Who sings when they're backed up against the wall and facing an unknown future? Paul and Silas did, because that's what friends do. They encourage each other, and they remind one another of the Truth.

What do you do when you're in trouble? How do you encourage a friend who's going through a tough time? You may not be able to carry a tune, but you can surely remind your friend—and yourself—of God's amazing grace.

I'm so thankful for friends who pour courage into me.  I hope you have friends like that, too.
 

The Difference

Even though Jack is too young to understand much, I still sing to him and talk to him as though he can. I suspect babies start understanding what we're saying much earlier than we know, and I don't want to miss a single chance to tell him that I love him and share with him all the things I think are important. Or silly. Or funny or interesting.

This morning at 5 am he was cooing quietly in his crib. His chubby little legs were starting to kick up and down, and I knew he was in need of a diaper change and a bottle.

I walked quietly into his nursery and said, "Happy Easter, Jackson! Christ the Lord is risen today! He is risen indeed!"

He looked at me with wide eyes and cooed again. I picked him up and carried him to the changing table, singing one of my favorite Easter songs. Then I stopped and said to him, "Today we are going to church to celebrate the Lord's resurrection. Won't that be wonderful? And after that we're going to Auntie Debbie's for lunch ... and I think the Easter bunny (aka Auntie Melody) might bring you a basket of goodies!"

He looked at me with wide eyes--probably more in response to the sing-songy, hopeful tone in my voice than to the content of my actual words. As I changed his diaper, I said to him, "You know Jackson, the great thing about Jesus is that He is good to us even when we've been naughty and don't deserve it. The Easter bunny is great, too, but he only brings us gifts when we've been good."

In this world of "Get-what-you-deserve," I want to be sure my son knows that in God's kingdom everything is turned upside down. Jesus got what we deserve--punishment for sin, separation from His Father, and death. And we get what we don't deserve: grace, mercy, blessings, the acceptance and approval of the Father, and the hope of life eternal in heaven.

It's a pretty cool system!

I'm not against the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. I want Jack to enjoy the wonder and merriment of these fictional characters. But even more I want him to love and adore the One who deserves all our praise!

Crying is Permitted

That's what the sign says. I noticed it this morning at church. Jack had a small meltdown during the service, so we left our seats and went to the soundproof "Baby and Family Room."

The sign reads:

This room is reserved for families with small children.  

Crying is permitted.  

All others are welcome in this room as well.

I've been thinking about it all day. Crying isn't encouraged in our society. Tolerated at times, but  not "permitted" per se.

Maybe it should be.

My son cries. A lot. I think he may have colic, although he hasn't been officially diagnosed. Or maybe he's just a fussy baby. But whatever the case, he's in touch with his emotions.

We'd probably all be happier if we occasionally allowed ourselves a good cry...and if we permitted others to cry as well.

Crying is a sign that something is wrong. And let's be honest--there is much wrong in our lives, and there's plenty to cry about. My pastor says that grief can be an act of worship. It's a declaration that sin is in the world, and it's not the way it's supposed to be. It's a heart-felt cry for Jesus' return--for a place where there will be no more pain, no more suffering ... and no more crying.

The Scary Stuff

"A few more days, and this could've been a totally different outcome," said the doctor as he showed me the giant knot in Jack's umbilical cord.

Not only was Baby Jack born with his umbilical cord draped around his neck, he also had a giant pretzel-looking knot in his cord. As the doctor held it up for me to see, he pulled it tight, to show me how Jack's source of oxygen and nourishment might have been cut off.

I was already crying, but then I cried harder for what might have been. I cried because I was so thankful we had chosen Dr. Lichtinger to be our obstetrician. I believe it was God, working through this seasoned, highly-skilled doctor, that saved our son's life.

I was induced nearly ten days before my due date...and that's a rare thing for an OB to do. Generally they like their patients to go full term unless they see something wrong. I don't think Dr. Lichtinger saw anything wrong at my last appointment--at least he never told me if he did. He just said, "The baby is low, the baby is big, and I think we need to schedule an induction for this weekend."

Did he have a bad feeling? Did his years of experience or extensive schooling give him reason to pause? I don't know. But I knew, way before giving birth, that I trusted him to help bring my child safely into this world.

The fear I felt upon seeing that knotted cord was the fear of what might have been, what could have  happened. But usually my fears are of the future, the unknown, the possible bad things that are lurking out there. For an anxiety-prone person like myself, the list is pretty long because there are endless possibilities in the category of "What Could Possibly Go Wrong in My Life or the Lives of My Loved Ones."

Yesterday I was reading Psalm 53 and came upon this: "There they were, overwhelmed with dread, where there was nothing to dread."

The Psalmist was speaking of God's enemies, as though the dread they had to endure was part of their punishment. As a child of God, I wonder why I so often give into those feelings of dread. When daylight wanes and nighttime descends, why don't I entrust myself to God's loving kindness? Why do I feverishly review my "List of What Could Go Wrong" as though cramming for a mid-term exam? If I can trust a mere mortal like Dr. L, why is it so hard to surrender to the Divine?

I guess it's because I know Dr. L's agenda: He wants a positive outcome. He wants to retain his reputation as a great doctor. He wants me to be comfortable and happy. He doesn't want a lawsuit that could make his malpractice insurance go up. His goal is a safe delivery and a healthy baby.

God isn't like that. Yes He is good, and He wants good for me, but His definition of good is not always the same as mine. And He's definitely not safe. Good--yes, safe--not so much. His ways are so much higher than ours, and try as I might, I can't understand them. He wants me to learn and grow, to become more like Him, to bring Him honor and glory. He doesn't care about His reputation. He doesn't need malpractice insurance. He sees good in the eternal sense, not in the here and now.

And to me, that's kinda scary ... In a strangely comforting sort of way.

The story of Jackson--Part 1 of a Million

Choosing a name for our baby was not difficult. Keeping it a secret was. Most couples today share their baby's  name before he or she is born. And I admit, I always love knowing that information. But there are so few good surprises left in life that we wanted our babe's name to remain a mystery until the day of his arrival. So how did we decide on Jackson Kenneth Yarrow Doman? Let me start at the end.

Doman... Obviously his surname. It's not a name that was given to him by human choice but by the Divine. For some reason, God chose to place baby Jack in the Doman family. He chose for him to be born in sunny South Florida and be a part of a family that tries to put God first in all that we do. God chose Jack to be born to parents who will pray with him and for him--and teach him about the amazing love God has shown to us.

Yarrow... When we discovered we were having a boy, I wasn't quite sure what to do with that information. The Yarrow clan (my maiden name) is littered with girls and very few boys. In fact, on my dad's side of the family, no boys have been born since my father--which was way back in 1931! So the family name was dying off with all these girls. Ken and I wanted to preserve a bit of my family history by giving our son this second middle name. We also wanted to remind him of the kind of people his ancestors were. His great grandfather Yarrow was a hard-working farmer from Kansas. Charles Yarrow and his family were people of strong faith and a reverent fear of God. Although they lived very modestly, they were amazingly generous with the resources God had given to them. We hope our son will do the same.

Kenneth... My husband's first name is Raymond, but he has been called by his middle name, Kenneth, for most of his life. In passing along this name to our son, I pray every day that he will turn out like his dad. I know it probably sounds sappy, but truly, I couldn't ask for anything more. Ken is one of the kindest, most gracious, loving, hard-working people I have ever known. He is devoted to his family and to his God. He is trustworthy beyond a shadow of a doubt. And he is way intelligent--although he never flaunts it nor uses it to make others feel less. He is a friend to all--people of success as well as the down and out. He has every quality I hope my son will inherit.

Jackson... Ken comes from a small town in Texas called Jacksonville. He was raised there, as was his mother and grandparents. It's a special place with special people. They rally around each other and help each other out in times of need. They look out for each other and have many of the small-town values that we hope our son will possess. So the name "Jackson" is a nod to all the wonderful people from Jacksonville, Texas who helped Ken become the person he is...from his grandparents to his friends to his teachers to his employers to his amazing mom, who still lives there today.

Even more importantly is the traditional meaning of Jack: God is gracious. What a profound thought. In a recent interview, Bono, of U2 fame, described grace this way:

You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. ... And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff. ... I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity. ... That's the point. It should keep us humbled.

Jackson Kenneth Yarrow Doman. Our baby. Our undeserved blessing from heaven ... a product of his unique heritage, our hope for the future, and a reflection of our belief in the limitless grace of our God.

the next BIG thing

Today I had my weekly OB appointment. I have three weeks to go until my due date, and I was certain I'd be dilated...at least 1 centimeter, right?! I guess every pregnant woman expects to go early--probably wishful thinking combined with a feeling that her body is completely maxed out.

But I wasn't dilated a bit! The doctor said the baby is considered full-term at this point, so he gave me a couple homework exercises I could do if I want to move things along--including drinking raspberry juice (who knew?) and some acupressure points to rub that are supposed to help bring on labor.

While I confess I did stop at Target and get some raspberry lemonade, I am really not in any big hurry to have the baby. Yes, I am uncomfortable. Yes, I am excited to meet this child of mine. But I'm trying to enjoy the moment. Once that boy comes out, there's no going back in.

Many years of my life have been spent looking forward to the next big thing. I think it's common to the human condition. When we're in school we look forward to summertime. As summertime boredom sets in, we look forward to a new school year. We look forward to leaving our parents' house and going to college. We want to find the love of our life and get married. We anxiously await a  +  sign on that blue stick. Then we're waiting for the baby to arrive. Then we're waiting for the baby to go to school. Oh, and did I mention buying a house with a yard and a white picket fence? Getting the better paying job? The long-awaited vacation?

Too often I've bartered the enjoyment of today for the expectation of what's ahead. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to love today. I want to be all here, right now, in this moment, savoring this breath.

That's not to say I don't look to the future. I keep the window open an inch or two because I know God has wonderful opportunities ahead. I want to feel the breeze of anticipation. I can't wait to see what He will do.

But for now, I will delight in that breeze ... only while I soak up the sunshine of today.

Looking forward

Every New Years I come up with a theme or a motto for the upcoming 365 days...and then I try to live by it. Previous themes have included:

• Shut up and pray (in response to talking about prayer more than actually praying)
• Simplify
• Go through the door (2004--a year when I took many leaps of faith)

I've been doing it for about 10 years now, and some have stuck and have become life themes while others have quickly fallen by the wayside. Like this year for example. I think it rhymed with eleven...was it about heaven? Or priorities? I have no idea.

I was just looking through some recent tweets and I saw the one I posted on January 1 of this year. "And if our God is for us..." I had copied it off someone's FB status. Since I've already forgotten my 2011 theme, I think I will change it to this.

2010 was a roller coaster year with many challenges. It was awesome to get married to my bestest and start a new life with him. It was thrilling to get pregnant after I had all but given up hope of ever having a family of my own. But we faced many tough times together...the suffering of my mom from cancer and strokes and her passing in June, several months of morning sickness, thousands of dollars of vet bills for our sweet little dog, a car accident, insurance squabbles, job changes, a tick-infested home(!), and many financial difficulties.

I'm not expecting 2011 to be any less roller-coaster-ish; after all, we are having a baby in 33 or so days! But I am confident of this: Our God is for us, so who can stand against us? We have personally witnessed God's faithfulness in the past year. He has been by our side every step of the way. He has blessed us with a love beyond limits. He has taught us new things about love--real love--not the kind that feels warm and fuzzy but the kind that sticks with a person no matter what. He has restored health to our pup and positive integers to our bank account. He has blessed us with family that has supported us financially and emotionally. He has given us countless friends who have cried both tears of joy and sorrow with us.

And most of all, He has given us hope for a life yet to come. A life where there will be no more tears (of sadness), no more death, no more breast cancer, no more strokes, no more long days and nights in hospital rooms, no more feelings of helplessness, no more wondering how we will pay the mortgage.

Instead we will enjoy endless delight. Reunion with loved ones. Joy. Mansions with no mortgage. Abundant health. New bodies. Unlimited hope. Seeing our Savior face to face.

All because of the Great Exchange...I was accepted because He was condemned. I am loved because He was rejected. I am alive because He died and rose again.

So we face 2011 with much anticipation. A new baby is on the way. We both have jobs. We are in love and happy. We are healthy.

But even if we lose all that... and our house is infested with nasty ticks and the dog is vomiting blood and the bill collector won't stop calling...our God is for us. Who can stand against us?