You Do You

This morning I had a work meeting at Partners for Success, an alternative 6th-12th grade school in DuPage County. We had the opportunity to hear about the amazing work they are doing, interview three of their students, and take a tour of the school.

The three teen students interviewed represented a cross-section of the school: One boy was expelled from his original school for repeated violent fighting; another boy for purchasing a firearm on school property; and the third, a girl, for selling drugs.

All three came from "cream-of-the-crop" school districts in DuPage County. The boy with the firearms comes from a two-parent family; his parents are professionals who work with kids. The girl who sold drugs talked about how she had been consumed with money--wanting it and never feeling like she had enough. She'd go to the school bathroom before her first class, find out what her classmates "needed," and make a quick $20.

The teens took responsibility for their poor choices, but they also talked about how at their original schools they dealt with kids judging them, fakeness, hypocrisy, and peer pressure. They wanted to fit in and be popular...and made bad decisions to achieve that acceptance.

It made me think about a photo I've seen a lot lately on social media. Some people are suggesting this be posted on the wall of every school:

The sign reads:
"Some kids are smarter than you. Some kids have cooler clothes than you. Some kids are better at sports than you. It doesn't matter. You have your thing too. Be the kid who can get along. Be the kid who is generous. Be the kid who is happy for others. Be the kid who does the right thing. Be the nice kid."

I love it! I agree that it should be at every school. It's something that I talk about often with my son--especially the part about being happy for others. Last Saturday he took part in his first pinewood derby race, and his little red car didn't fare too well. He didn't receive any speed awards, nor did he get recognition for the creativity, originality, or "attractiveness" of his car.

One of his good friends got first place for most realistic car--and it was a hard pill for my son to swallow. I talked to him about the concept of "fake it till you make it." Even if you feel jealous in your heart, act happy for the other person and eventually your emotions will catch up.

I thought again of this meme, and I realized most adults need it, too! I especially notice a lot of competition, real or perceived, among moms. I'm an older mom, so I feel like I shouldn't care (quite) as much as others, but I still occasionally get that bad gut feeling when I realize my house will never be as nice as so-and-so's, I will never be as popular as so-and-so, and I will never ever be known as athletic or in shape.

So I came up with my own version of the meme, particularly for women. It focuses on the things we *can* control. I am going to try to preach this to myself any time I feel less than--and remind myself that I am, with God's help, enough.

"Some friends are prettier than you. Some friends have bigger houses than you. Some friends are skinnier than you. It doesn't matter. You have your thing, too. Be the friend who encourages. Be the friend who is generous. Be the friend who is happy for other people. Be the friend who is  trustworthy and kind. BeYOUtiful. It's what's on the inside that counts."