Shut Up

So yesterday I was sitting in a coffee shop, trying to do some freelance work, when I noticed a middle-aged man walk in. I did a double take, because he looked slightly familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place him. He eyed me suspiciously as well, and then looked around nervously.

Turns out he was meeting another man--not sure if he was a friend, a mentor, or a pastor of some sort. But the two sat right behind me, so I was privy to quite a bit of their conversation, and it seemed like a confessional of some sort.

Now, before I go any further, let me say that I'm all for accountability and confessing/sharing with friends. But I'm also for listening, and for having a teachable spirit.

Let me explain. Man #1 seemed to do ALL the talking. Or at least all the loud talking. He was telling Man #2 about his marital problems, and how his wife had left him, and what a terrible sinner he was, how merciful God is, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

For nearly an hour, Man #1 verbally puked all over Man #2. It didn't seem like he was seeking advice, since Man #2 barely got a word in edgewise. It was just talk, talk, talk. Excuses, excuses, excuses. My wife never...and My wife won't. But God ... My church ... My bible study... Blah, blah blah.

I am not unfamiliar with this type of man. I know someone else quite well who likes to talk about what a terrible sinner he is and how he messed up his marriage, but he always adds in little digs about his wife, insinuating that a lot of the problems are her fault. And two years counting, he hasn't changed a bit.

So yesterday when I heard this middle-aged, quite respectable looking man, going on and on about how close he was to God but not taking even a second to receive counsel from the man he was with, I wanted to do something.

I wanted to stand up, walk over to his table, grab his shoulders, and shout, "SHUT UP. Quit talking and start doing. Go home to your wife and work on your marriage. Quit talking about God's grace and forgiveness and start reflecting it."

I'm so tired of "Christian" men being unkind to their wives. You stood before God and witnesses and promised to love her, care for her, cherish her, and protect her. And now the person who is supposed to be protecting her is the person she needs protecting from.

When I got up to leave, I took a long look at the man in the denim shirt and the pressed, pleated khakis. He looked at me, too, and I wonder if he knew I was on to him and his sort.

I drove away, thanking God that my husband is kind. Loving, Teachable. And a great listener.