I'm trying not to be judgmental about folks who respond to injustice with violence because I have never stood in their shoes. I've never been fearful of the police. I've always thought justice would prevail. I've rarely been a minority.
But I wish I could get inside their heads for just a minute so I could understand why they act the way they do. It doesn't make sense to me, but maybe it makes sense to them. Or maybe they are so overcome with grief and anger that even they don't know why they are doing it.
All I know is this: We're about to have three little brown-skinned people join our family in a few short months. And sometimes, especially on days like today, I feel scared for them. And I also feel scared for anyone who might judge them based on the color of their skin rather than on the content of their character. Because those folks will be dealing with this Mama Bear. And Mama Bears can be kind of scary when they're protecting the little ones they love.
25 November 2014
16 November 2014
And the Winner Is...
Now that I have you attention, I want to write about something other than the winner of the free book. But I promise...I will tell you the results of our drawing in just a minute.
I was sitting in church this morning thinking about our Ethiopian kids and some of the recent snags we've hit in the process. They aren't anything major at this point, but they are annoying little things that delay bringing our children home.
I could be mad at the Ethiopian government for changing the rules mid-game. I could be upset with out agency for not foreseeing these issues. But they aren't the enemy.
There is an Enemy, and he is very real. He's called a Liar and a Thief, and for good reason.
He lies to me and to you and to my kids in Ethio all the time. He says we're not good enough. He says we don't belong. He says nobody will ever love us. He says we're unworthy. He says things will get worse.
And he steals. He steals our joy. He steals our hope. He steals parents from children. He steals our mental and physical health. He steals our sense of well-being.
I believe every snag we hit in this adoption is another attempt by the Liar and the Thief to keep our kids from having what every child deserves--a mom and a dad. A family. Grandmas and grandpas. Aunts and Uncles and cousins. Because if you don't have any of those things, it's hard to believe in a good God who loves you.
I can't think of anyone more vulnerable than a child without a family to love and protect him.
And I believe the Liar and the Thief would like to prevent our kids from belonging to a family and a church family who loves them and tells them the truth about God, about life, about death, and about themselves.
You can fully trust the Liar to do what he does best: lie. And usually about the things that are the most important.
...
If you are the praying sort, would you say a prayer this week for our kids? There are some important meetings where our Ethiopian team will meet with government officials to try to find out just what they need to provide to get things moving. Decisions will be made which we have no control of.
But God...
The authorities that exist in Ethiopia have been established by God. Their hearts are in God's hands. That's what the Bible says, and I choose to believe it.
God is able. More than able.
...
And now...on to the original purpose for this blog... our WINNER!
We printed every comment that was left on the blog and on Facebook, and we cut them into strips which we folded and put in a bag. At dinner Saturday night, we had Jackson pull out a piece of paper. And he pulled out... mine! For real. Forty some strips of paper, and he pulls out the one we accidentally included (I had commented on the FB post). #ThatsMyBoy
Not to worry, we had Jack choose another one, and I'm super happy with his second random draw.
The winner is a fellow adoptive mom and Wheatonite, a writer, and an advocate for modern-day slaves. She has authored 13 books (maybe more?) and is an avid reader. She's been a part of the same book club for more than 15 years. I first met her more than 15 years ago because her husband was my boss. Now that I freelance, I'm my own "boss," and I like to joke that he is *still* the best boss I've ever had.
*Drum roll, please...
Congratulations to Terri Kraus! Let me know which of the books you'd like, and I'll get it right out to you.
Thanks to everyone who left comments. It was encouraging and fun to see all the people who were reading.
...
OH, and just for fun, after we pulled Terri's name, I let Ken pull a name out of the bag. Guess who he pulled? His mom. Like father like son. :)
I was sitting in church this morning thinking about our Ethiopian kids and some of the recent snags we've hit in the process. They aren't anything major at this point, but they are annoying little things that delay bringing our children home.
I could be mad at the Ethiopian government for changing the rules mid-game. I could be upset with out agency for not foreseeing these issues. But they aren't the enemy.
There is an Enemy, and he is very real. He's called a Liar and a Thief, and for good reason.
He lies to me and to you and to my kids in Ethio all the time. He says we're not good enough. He says we don't belong. He says nobody will ever love us. He says we're unworthy. He says things will get worse.
And he steals. He steals our joy. He steals our hope. He steals parents from children. He steals our mental and physical health. He steals our sense of well-being.
I believe every snag we hit in this adoption is another attempt by the Liar and the Thief to keep our kids from having what every child deserves--a mom and a dad. A family. Grandmas and grandpas. Aunts and Uncles and cousins. Because if you don't have any of those things, it's hard to believe in a good God who loves you.
I can't think of anyone more vulnerable than a child without a family to love and protect him.
And I believe the Liar and the Thief would like to prevent our kids from belonging to a family and a church family who loves them and tells them the truth about God, about life, about death, and about themselves.
You can fully trust the Liar to do what he does best: lie. And usually about the things that are the most important.
...
If you are the praying sort, would you say a prayer this week for our kids? There are some important meetings where our Ethiopian team will meet with government officials to try to find out just what they need to provide to get things moving. Decisions will be made which we have no control of.
But God...
The authorities that exist in Ethiopia have been established by God. Their hearts are in God's hands. That's what the Bible says, and I choose to believe it.
God is able. More than able.
...
And now...on to the original purpose for this blog... our WINNER!
We printed every comment that was left on the blog and on Facebook, and we cut them into strips which we folded and put in a bag. At dinner Saturday night, we had Jackson pull out a piece of paper. And he pulled out... mine! For real. Forty some strips of paper, and he pulls out the one we accidentally included (I had commented on the FB post). #ThatsMyBoy
Not to worry, we had Jack choose another one, and I'm super happy with his second random draw.
The winner is a fellow adoptive mom and Wheatonite, a writer, and an advocate for modern-day slaves. She has authored 13 books (maybe more?) and is an avid reader. She's been a part of the same book club for more than 15 years. I first met her more than 15 years ago because her husband was my boss. Now that I freelance, I'm my own "boss," and I like to joke that he is *still* the best boss I've ever had.
*Drum roll, please...
Congratulations to Terri Kraus! Let me know which of the books you'd like, and I'll get it right out to you.
Thanks to everyone who left comments. It was encouraging and fun to see all the people who were reading.
...
OH, and just for fun, after we pulled Terri's name, I let Ken pull a name out of the bag. Guess who he pulled? His mom. Like father like son. :)
12 November 2014
Unwrapping the Gift
It's been a really strange couple of weeks, and I've hesitated to blog about it for two reasons. First, it's hard to put in words something you haven't fully processed. And second, there's the matter of privacy. How much is appropriate to share in a public forum? What is helpful, interesting, and/or informative so that readers can pray for our growing family?
As I told you in a previous blog, the boy we are adopting went to court to say whether or not he wanted to be adopted. The initial report was simply that he did very well and everything turned out as expected.
We didn't get any more details for several days because the email of our team in Ethiopia wasn't working. When we finally got pictures of the children unwrapping our gift books--and the full report on what happened--I couldn't quite process everything.
...
I remember the first time I left our son Jack with someone other than a family member. He was just a few months old, and the church we attended at the time offered a Mom's Day Out. For just a few dollars, you could leave your child in the capable hands of a nursery worker for several hours on a weekday.
Being a stay-at-home writer and editor, I thought this was a great idea. But as soon as I dropped off Jack, my heart sank. I missed him so much I could hardly stand it. All the cliques applied: I felt like I was missing my right arm. I felt like I'd left my heart in that nursery and was walking around without it.
I was miserable.
When they called me 45 minutes later to tell me Jack had been crying and they couldn't calm him down, I was secretly happy. I raced back to the church as fast as I could to get my child back in my arms.
That's a mother for you. At least with her firstborn, and at least for the first few months. Now Jack goes off to preschool twice a week, and neither of us sheds a tear. But I still miss him when we're apart for an extended period of time. I wonder what he's doing. I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he's sharing all the family secrets. I wonder if he made it to the potty in time.
He is always on my mind.
...
Our three soon-to-be-adopted children in Ethiopia are always on my mind as well.
Will they like it here? Are the decorations in this bedroom too baby-ish for an 11 year old? Is this coat going to fit her? Will it be warm enough? I wish I could find a coat in yellow since that is her favorite color, but all I can find is pink and purple! How will they do in school? Should I homeschool them? Will they be kind to Jackson? Will Jackson be normal jealous or crazy jealous? Will they be the only chocolate-skinned kids at their school? Will other kids like them? Will they be teased because of their foreign names and thick accents?
And after the report and photos we got two weeks ago, my thoughts have started including ones like these:
Is that a smile on her face as she looks at the photo book we sent? Do they feel scared at the size of their new school building? What does it feel like to go to court and say your circumstances are so bleak that you are willing to be adopted by an unknown family who live in a foreign country where you will know no one, save your two siblings?
What does it feel like to tell your social worker, "I know what adoption is, but I never thought it would happen for us because we've waited all these years in the orphanage." And how did he feel when he asked, "How soon will my new parents come and get us?"
My mind is constantly processing these ideas. Now that our children know about us, I want them right now. I don't want them to wait one second longer, and yet...there is nothing I can do to speed the process along.
The Ministry of Women and Children in Ethiopia has suddenly changed the rules--they want originals on all the important paperwork. Previously they accepted copies. That means our team in Ethiopia has to scramble to get originals of who-knows-how-many documents.
...
When I was pregnant, everyone told me to enjoy the pregnancy--that the baby would be here soon enough and then I'd be enduring many sleepless nights. But still, I couldn't wait to meet my son.
Nobody is telling us to enjoy the adoption process because we all know that three children are going to bed tonight without a mother and father to tuck them in, to kiss them goodnight, to pray with them.
And that breaks my heart. I am going about my usual business--writing, editing, meeting with friends, going to church, babysitting, attending parties--like everything is normal. But nothing is normal. We have three children who are waiting for us, and I hate being away from them.
...
My husband tells me that for every comment I get on my blog, there's at least 10 other readers who don't comment.
He heard that statistic years ago, and I'm pretty sure it was before the advent of Facebook links and the ability to simply hit "Like."
That's why I'm doing a giveaway this week...to see who my readers actually are. Anyone who leaves a comment on this blog will be entered into a drawing to receive a free book. The winner can choose any of the following books and it will be mailed directly to them. The winner may choose from threse books:
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
Called a simple, enchanting tale...warm and funny and thoroughly unpredictable.
Publishers Weekly calls this "one of the best Christmas books ever."
Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
A beautifully illustrated book to celebrate the Advent season together as a family.
The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
A Moonbeam Award Gold Medal Winner and one of my favorite books!
The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp
A New York Times Bestseller, this book is an Advent calender and a devotional all in one.
Any of these books will make your Christmas more meaningful...or the winner could use the prize as a stocking stuffer.
Leave your comment in the section below to be entered to win! We'll announce a winner this weekend.
As I told you in a previous blog, the boy we are adopting went to court to say whether or not he wanted to be adopted. The initial report was simply that he did very well and everything turned out as expected.
We didn't get any more details for several days because the email of our team in Ethiopia wasn't working. When we finally got pictures of the children unwrapping our gift books--and the full report on what happened--I couldn't quite process everything.
...
I remember the first time I left our son Jack with someone other than a family member. He was just a few months old, and the church we attended at the time offered a Mom's Day Out. For just a few dollars, you could leave your child in the capable hands of a nursery worker for several hours on a weekday.
Being a stay-at-home writer and editor, I thought this was a great idea. But as soon as I dropped off Jack, my heart sank. I missed him so much I could hardly stand it. All the cliques applied: I felt like I was missing my right arm. I felt like I'd left my heart in that nursery and was walking around without it.
I was miserable.
When they called me 45 minutes later to tell me Jack had been crying and they couldn't calm him down, I was secretly happy. I raced back to the church as fast as I could to get my child back in my arms.
That's a mother for you. At least with her firstborn, and at least for the first few months. Now Jack goes off to preschool twice a week, and neither of us sheds a tear. But I still miss him when we're apart for an extended period of time. I wonder what he's doing. I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he's sharing all the family secrets. I wonder if he made it to the potty in time.
He is always on my mind.
...
Our three soon-to-be-adopted children in Ethiopia are always on my mind as well.
Will they like it here? Are the decorations in this bedroom too baby-ish for an 11 year old? Is this coat going to fit her? Will it be warm enough? I wish I could find a coat in yellow since that is her favorite color, but all I can find is pink and purple! How will they do in school? Should I homeschool them? Will they be kind to Jackson? Will Jackson be normal jealous or crazy jealous? Will they be the only chocolate-skinned kids at their school? Will other kids like them? Will they be teased because of their foreign names and thick accents?
And after the report and photos we got two weeks ago, my thoughts have started including ones like these:
Is that a smile on her face as she looks at the photo book we sent? Do they feel scared at the size of their new school building? What does it feel like to go to court and say your circumstances are so bleak that you are willing to be adopted by an unknown family who live in a foreign country where you will know no one, save your two siblings?
What does it feel like to tell your social worker, "I know what adoption is, but I never thought it would happen for us because we've waited all these years in the orphanage." And how did he feel when he asked, "How soon will my new parents come and get us?"
My mind is constantly processing these ideas. Now that our children know about us, I want them right now. I don't want them to wait one second longer, and yet...there is nothing I can do to speed the process along.
The Ministry of Women and Children in Ethiopia has suddenly changed the rules--they want originals on all the important paperwork. Previously they accepted copies. That means our team in Ethiopia has to scramble to get originals of who-knows-how-many documents.
...
When I was pregnant, everyone told me to enjoy the pregnancy--that the baby would be here soon enough and then I'd be enduring many sleepless nights. But still, I couldn't wait to meet my son.
Nobody is telling us to enjoy the adoption process because we all know that three children are going to bed tonight without a mother and father to tuck them in, to kiss them goodnight, to pray with them.
And that breaks my heart. I am going about my usual business--writing, editing, meeting with friends, going to church, babysitting, attending parties--like everything is normal. But nothing is normal. We have three children who are waiting for us, and I hate being away from them.
...
My husband tells me that for every comment I get on my blog, there's at least 10 other readers who don't comment.
He heard that statistic years ago, and I'm pretty sure it was before the advent of Facebook links and the ability to simply hit "Like."
That's why I'm doing a giveaway this week...to see who my readers actually are. Anyone who leaves a comment on this blog will be entered into a drawing to receive a free book. The winner can choose any of the following books and it will be mailed directly to them. The winner may choose from threse books:
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
Called a simple, enchanting tale...warm and funny and thoroughly unpredictable.
Publishers Weekly calls this "one of the best Christmas books ever."
Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
A beautifully illustrated book to celebrate the Advent season together as a family.
The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
A Moonbeam Award Gold Medal Winner and one of my favorite books!
The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp
A New York Times Bestseller, this book is an Advent calender and a devotional all in one.
Any of these books will make your Christmas more meaningful...or the winner could use the prize as a stocking stuffer.
Leave your comment in the section below to be entered to win! We'll announce a winner this weekend.
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