He Knows

I got a text last week that said, "Lu, I don't know if you'll like this, but I got it on a super clearance sale. If you want it, it's yours."

The accompanying picture was of a twin-sized quilt, sham, and velour rug. Pink, lavender, baby blue, polka-dots, and flowers.

I immediately replied. "YES!"

My friend Patti has known me for more than 30 years. So when she heard we were adopting an African Princess, she knew I'd want to create a girly-girl room. The colors of the quilt were the exact look I was aiming for. Since the age of our little girl is yet unknown--but will probably be between 3 and 7--I wanted to create a bedroom that would be suitable for any young girl. Soft, sweet, feminine.



The next week I was in Target. Ken was home with Jack, so I had the luxury of browsing till my heart's content, without a 2-year-old boy demanding he push the shopping cart--and subsequently crashing into all sorts of merchandise.

When I spotted lavender sheets that would match the quilt perfectly, I took a deep breath. Part of me wanted to buy them, part of me thought it was a little crazy.

We have no idea when our daughter will come home. We don't know her age. We don't know her name. We know nothing...except that we are supposed to adopt, we're in process, and we'll hopefully bring a child home in the next year. It's one thing if a friend buys something as a gift...but to buy something myself, I don't know. It felt weird.

I circled round the store, then went back to the girls' bedding aisle. I felt the soft texture of the sheets, imagined them in my girl's room, put them in the cart, and walked toward the check-out.

While I've been very excited to share about our adoption plans with friends and family, I felt a little silly buying sheets for a yet-unknown child. I thought to myself, "I sure hope the cashier doesn't want to chit-chat about these sheets."

But as luck would have it, she did.

"So, what age is the little person these sheets are for?" she probed.

I took a deep breath. "Ummm. She's seven," I said, feeling only slightly guilty about throwing out an age of which I am not sure.

I thought that would squelch her curiosity, but no. She continued. "Does she know you're buying them?"

That was an easy question. "No, actually she doesn't," I replied.

Still not satisfied, the overly friendly clerk had yet another question. "Well is she at home right now?"

Hmm. I don't have any idea where she is, lady. She might be in a straw hut with a dirt floor. She might be living on the street. She might be in an orphanage. She might be saying a final goodbye to her dying mother. She might be begging at the local market for food to fill her empty belly.

"No, she isn't home right now," I offered.

The clerk smiled widely. "Oh that's perfect! You can hurry home and put them on the bed while she's out. She will be so excited when she gets home and sees them!"

I smiled, thanked the clerk, and went on my way.

But her questions have stuck with me. How old is our daughter? Where is she? Will she be excited to see her new sheets?

    .  .  .

A few weeks ago, I was going through a box of sentimental stuff that we have in storage, and I came across an embroidery that my grandmother made. My grandma Erickson was born in 1896 (really!), so I have no idea when she made this wall hanging. And why it's been in a box all these years--I have no idea. Maybe the sentiment didn't fit with my stage of life.

Silly, because whatever stage you're in, there are questions. The future is a mystery. But not to your Heavenly Father.

I'm glad He knows our future daughter. I can't wait to meet her.

Why I Got Super Angry Today

Today, Ken and I attended a CPR and First Aid training class. The presenter was a firefighter/EMT from our community. And I liked her. She was funny. Really funny. Did I mention likeable? She made the training enjoyable...even at 8 am on a Saturday morning.

However, part way through the training, something was said that really upset me.The trainer was talking about CPR and the new recommendations for compressions and mouth-to-mouth. She said something to the effect of, "As a non-medical professional, you are considered a Good Samaritan, and you aren't legally bound to give mouth to mouth. And if I were you, I wouldn't. Why? Because people are gross. And you never know what gross diseases people have. They might have hepatitis, TB, or AIDS. And although the experts say you can't get AIDS from saliva, I don't believe it."

Whoa. Stop right there, lady.

I have several dear friends who are HIV-positive, and this stigma has got to stop. It's a lie. It's a fear-based lie. I was shocked and disappointed that this medical "authority" would disseminate false information. I was so stunned at the time that I didn't speak up. I wish I had. But now I will...for my friends with HIV, for children with HIV, for anyone touched by HIV. I have to speak up...as a Christian, as a promoter of the truth, as a human being.

First of all, people with Hepatitis, TB, and AIDS are not gross. Some of the symptoms of their disease may be gross, but they are not. They are human beings, dearly loved by God and created in His image.

Second, this woman appeared to have misspoke when she used the term AIDS. I believe she meant HIV. HIV is not AIDS. HIV is a virus, that if left untreated, can cause AIDS. Because of advancements in treatment and testing, it is very, very rare for a person with HIV in the United States to progress to having AIDS. In fact, people who are being treated with antiretroviral drugs usually have an undetectable viral load, meaning the virus can not be detected in their blood. Therefore, transmission is very unlikely under any circumstances, and most of them live out normal life spans with minimal health issues. With regular treatment, they can marry, have babies, and do just about anything an HIV-negative person can do.

How is HIV transmitted? A person can contract HIV through mutual blood or semen contact. This most often occurs during unprotected sex or by sharing needles during injection drug use. There are also cases where a mother passes the virus on to her newborn or transmits the virus via breastfeeding. These instances usually occur with people who are not receiving ongoing antiretroviral medications.

If you aren't having sex with an HIV person, sharing needles, or being breastfed by a person with HIV, the risk of becoming infected is virtually non-existent.  

Can HIV be transmitted by saliva? No. In some persons living with HIV, the virus has been detected in saliva, but in extremely low quantities. Contact with saliva alone has never been shown to result in transmission of HIV, and there is no documented case of transmission from an HIV-infected person spitting on another person. 

Can a person get HIV from casual contact with an infected person?
No. HIV is not transmitted by day-to-day contact in the workplace, schools, church, or social settings. HIV is not transmitted through shaking hands, hugging, or a casual kiss. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, a drinking fountain, a door knob, dishes, drinking glasses, food, or pets. HIV is not an airborne or food-borne virus, and it does not live long outside the body.

Let me repeat: HIV does not survive well outside the human body. You cannot catch HIV through saliva. You cannot catch HIV by touching HIV+ blood unless you have a gaping wound or open sore and it enters your blood stream. If you do have open wounds, you should be using gloves when dealing with anyone's blood.

Friends, PLEASE end the stigma. If the Church is not proclaiming the truth, showing love, and giving compassion to those affected by HIV, who will?

I got this information from the CDC.gov, TheStigmaProject.org, and TheBody.com. Some of it I copied and pasted; some I paraphrased. For more information, visit any of their sites or gather your own research from reputable sources.

A New Year, A New Addition

On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, "Life will never be the same." Because there had never been anyone like you...ever in the world. Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born. ~ Nancy Tillman

"Made in Ethiopia"

 
Ken and I are delighted to announce that we are planning to grow our family by two sweet feet in the coming year. We thought the Ethiopian New Year (Sept. 11) was the perfect time to tell you.

We have been accepted into Bethany Christian Services' adoption program, and we are hoping to bring home a little Ethiopian girl--probably between the ages of 2 and 7--sometime in 2014. International adoption is a long and complicated process, but we've completed our home study, so we're on our way.

We are beyond happy and excited to begin this journey. At the same time, it's strange and sad and heartbreaking to think there is a little girl on the other side of the world who is probably experiencing the greatest trauma and loss of her young life...as God prepares our paths to meet and converge.

We are asking our friends and family to start praying now for our daughter. If you are willing, please leave a comment and we will send you some specific prayer requests.

Thanking you in advance for your support, encouragement, and prayers.

Love,

Luann, Ken, and Jack

John 14:18: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

The story of Jackson--Part 1 of a Million

(Since there is a lot of speculation about what the Royal Prince's name will be, I thought it would be timely to repost this blog about how we came up with Jackson's name. This was originally published in February of 2010.)

Our sweet boy weighed in at 8 lbs and 3 oz.

Choosing a name for our baby was not difficult. Keeping it a secret was. Most couples today share their baby's name before he or she is born. And I admit, I always love knowing that information. But there are so few good surprises left in life that we wanted our babe's name to remain a mystery until the day of his arrival. So how did we decide on Jackson Kenneth Yarrow Doman? Let me start at the end.

Doman... Obviously his surname. It's not a name that was given to him by human choice but by the Divine. For some reason, God chose to place baby Jack in the Doman family. He chose for him to be born in sunny South Florida and be a part of a family that tries to put God first in all that we do. God chose Jack to be born to parents who will pray with him and for him--and teach him about the amazing love God has shown to us.

Yarrow... When we discovered we were having a boy, I wasn't quite sure what to do with that information. The Yarrow clan (my maiden name) is littered with girls and very few boys. In fact, on my dad's side of the family, no boys have been born since my father--which was way back in 1931! So the family name was dying off with all these girls. Ken and I wanted to preserve a bit of my family history by giving our son this second middle name. We also wanted to remind him of the kind of people his ancestors were. His great grandfather Yarrow was a hard-working farmer from Kansas. Charles Yarrow and his family were people of strong faith and a reverent fear of God. Although they lived very modestly, they were amazingly generous with the resources God had given to them. We hope our son will do the same.

Kenneth... My husband's first name is Raymond, but he has been called by his middle name, Kenneth, for most of his life. In passing along this name to our son, I pray every day that he will turn out like his dad. I know it probably sounds sappy, but truly, I couldn't ask for anything more. Ken is one of the kindest, most gracious, loving, hard-working people I have ever known. He is devoted to his family and to his God. He is trustworthy beyond a shadow of a doubt. And he is way intelligent--although he never flaunts it nor uses it to make others feel less. He is a friend to all--people of success as well as the down and out. He has every quality I hope my son will inherit.

Jackson... Ken comes from a small town in Texas called Jacksonville. He was raised there, as was his mother and grandparents. It's a special place with special people. They rally around each other and help each other out in times of need. They look out for each other and have many of the small-town values that we hope our son will possess. So the name "Jackson" is a nod to all the wonderful people from Jacksonville, Texas who helped Ken become the person he is...from his grandparents to his friends to his teachers to his employers to his amazing mom, who still lives there today.

Even more importantly is the traditional meaning of Jack: God is gracious. What a profound thought. In a recent interview, Bono, of U2 fame, described grace this way:

You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. ... And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff. ... I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity. ... That's the point. It should keep us humbled.

Jackson Kenneth Yarrow Doman. Our baby. Our undeserved blessing from heaven ... a product of his unique heritage, our hope for the future, and a reflection of our belief in the limitless grace of our God.

His Love

What do you do when you’re in trouble? I’m not talking about when you get caught passing notes in Science class. I’m talking about grown-up trouble: Cancer. Home foreclosure. Divorce. Betrayal. Rebellious children. Death.

When I feel anxious, I like to go for a bike ride. It helps clear my head and get things in perspective. Some folks call a friend or join a support group. Some sleep away their troubles. Others escape through alcohol.

When Jesus faced the biggest trial of His life, He sang. You see, the night before He was crucified, Jesus and the apostles celebrated Passover. In Mark 14:26, we read that after the Passover meal, Jesus and the apostles sang a hymn as they went out to the Mount of Olives. So what was Jesus singing on the way to His crucifixion? According to tradition, Passover ends with the singing of Psalm 136, so it is very likely that is what Jesus sang.

Whatever you’re facing today, let the words below sink deep into your heart. They are the lyrics Jesus sang on His way to Calvary.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.

His faithful love endures forever….

With a might hand and an outstretched hand

His faithful love endures forever….

To him who led his people through the wilderness;

His faithful love endures forever….

Give thanks to the God of heaven.

His faithful love endures forever.

The Imposter

 

Jack looked suspiciously at what I’d handed him, turned it over, and then threw it to the floor in disgust. He wanted no part of it. He knew it was a fraud.

The “thing” was a stuffed Winnie the Pooh. When Jack was a newborn, his aunt gave him an identical Winnie the Pooh. Before long, the stuffed animal, known in our house as “Pooh-Pooh,” became a nighttime requirement. When he was upset or hurt, he wanted his Pooh-Pooh. And his favorite part of the animal was a tag on the backside. He liked running his fingers over that tag with one hand, while sucking his thumb on the other.

My husband and I worried about what would happen if we ever lost Pooh-Pooh. Would Jack be able to sleep? Would he cry endlessly for his beloved animal? So, like any good parent, I searched online, where I found the identical stuffed animal. I paid much more than it was worth to have it shipped to my home.

One day, the original Pooh disappeared, and I was pleased as punch that I had a backup. I rushed to get Pooh-2 out of safekeeping. Unfortunately, Jack—even at the tender age of two—knew the difference. This was not his Pooh-Pooh. It was an imposter.

How did he know? Because he loved his Pooh so deeply. He had spent countless hours with him, and he knew every square inch of that stuffed animal.

Jack with his various Pooh Bears. He now likes them all, but only one is the real deal in his mind...the faded large one that has the red stitching on the back side.

This situation made me think about how often we try to fill the God-shaped hole in our life with imposters. When we know the peace and love and comfort of Almighty God in an intimate way, the “fakes” never satisfy. Oh, they might give us temporary pleasure, but in the end, they are not the real thing.

Do you know God like that? Spend time with Him, and you will never want to settle for anything less.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me.” John 10:14 (NLT)

Salted Cashew with Dulce de Leche Ice Cream

Ken and I recently had a conversation about homemade ice cream. He made it as a kid at his step-grandparents, and my family always made it on the Fourth of July. 


Last month we took a weekend trip to Door County, Wisconsin with some friends, and we stopped at the most wonderful dairy farm where they make their own ice cream. I tried the Salted Cashew and Caramel Ice Cream, and it was the best thing my mouth has ever tasted. The contrast between the sweet and salty flavors created a virtual party in my mouth.


That got me thinking about how much fun it would be to make our own ice cream. The lady at the shop refused to give me the recipe, but I figured we could come pretty close by experimenting.

So for Father's Day, Jack and I gave Ken a homemade ice cream maker. The maker came with a recipe book, but Ken and I decided to be adventurous and try to replicate the Salted Cashew and Caramel recipe. We started with a basic ice cream recipe and guessed on the rest. It turned out so delicious! Even our two-year-old son loves it. It was really good the second day, too. Here's the recipe we used. If you try it, let us know how you like it!

Salted Cashew with Dulce de Leche Ice Cream

Ingredients:

• 1 cup whole milk
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• pinch of salt
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup salted cashews
• 1/4 cup caramel sauce or Dulce de Leche sauce

Directions:
1. In a medium bowl, use a hand mixer on low speed (or a whisk) to mix the milk, sugar, and salt until the sugar is dissolved. Stir in the heavy cream and vanilla. Cover and refrigerate 1 to 2 hours, or overnight.

2. Put the mixture into your ice cream maker, and let mix until thickened. (Mine only took about 20 minutes but each maker is different.)

3. Five minutes before it is done, add the cashews.


4. About two minutes before it's done, add the sweet sauce. I used Dulce de Leche because that's what we had on hand, but caramel would also be good.


5. Remove from mixer and enjoy!